Until I Met You

There was a time when I thought our family was complete.

I thought I was right.  Until I met you.

I used to think I had it all figured out.

I thought I was right.  Until I met you.

Once I thought my life was as full of joy as it could possibly get.

I thought I was right.  Until I met you.

At one point, I thought I was stretched to my limit, with nothing more to give.

I thought I was right.  Until I met you.

I used to say that I was fine with having two children.

I thought I was right.  Until I met you.

I used to think my heart held as much love as it could possibly hold.

I thought I was right.  Until I met you.

Written by McMama

one word changed by me

I have so many more posts to get caught up on but wanted to share this.  Leif is our "bonus baby", the one we didn't know we needed.  When I read this poem it struck such a cord in my heart I knew I had to save it.  I can honestly say (now) that I wouldn't want to live my life without my Baby Leif.

Leif Douglas

In my last post I stated I HOPED Baby Boy would come in a week'ish even though he wasn't due for 2 weeks.  That's not exactly true though, he wasn't officially due for 3 weeks.  But what does "official" mean anyway when it comes to babies?  That's beside the point - Mr. Leif decided to bless us with his presence the very next day!  To say I was quite surprised is an understatement!  Urgent phone calls to Grandparents ensued after a very sure and certain indication that Baby Boy would be here within a few hours.  Of course there was 2 seconds to check Facebook to see if/who he would share a birthday with and I was quite please to discover he will always share his day with THIS special little lady.  I sent a quick note off to her mother with my exciting news, asked for "secrecy" as I didn't know how the day would go down, and off we went.  So, yes, outside of my parents, Darcie was the first person to know Baby Boy was on his way.  We dropped Jacob and Lia off at another friend of our's house until Papa and Nana could make it to town.  Then we were hospital bound.  I'll spare you the details of his birth, but at 6:00 PM we had a perfect, beautiful, healthy, 6 lb 9 oz baby boy.  With quite a set of lungs!  My experience this time was nothing but wonderful.  I couldn't have asked for a better on-call physician (mine was on vacation in Alaska - the nerve!), better anesthesiologist (that's where things went horribly, terribly wrong last time), better nursing care, and most of all a better husband by my side who calmed me down during the hardest part for me.  I'm so glad I have nothing but warm and fuzzy feelings when I think about this birth experience.  It is so differnt from my experience with Lia and I can hardly stand to think about the day she was born.  So, I don't.  Or at least I try not to.  But I can tell you I shed many, many tears before Leif was born terrified of what I knew was going to be in my future.  Now, my tears are tears of joy.  For that I'm very, very thankful.

Presenting...Mr. Leif Douglas S.

More (many more) photos to come later.  The blanket in the photo was made by his 94 year old Great Grandmother Hawkins.  A HUGE thank you to my Aunt Susan for getting it mailed to him just in time!

A little something you didn't know you didn't know.  David and I had a REALLY hard time agreeing on a name.  As in we agreed on nothing.at.all.  Back when we were expecting Jacob, we thought about naming him Leif, but I was afraid it was a little to "different" and wanted to stick with something more traditional.  Boy did we ever!  Then when we were expecting Lia, we decided that if she surprised us once she was here and was a boy, Leif would be her name.  This time Leif of course was discussed again from the day we found out we were expecting a boy.  I was the one that nixed the name though as I thought it was too close to Lia and would be confusing.  Five months and no name later we were still struggling and absolutely nothing else worked for us.  On Sat we finally agreed on a different name but after sleeping on it and thinking about it, it just felt like a desperate attempt to agree on something.  At 7:00 PM Tues, the 19th we finally decided Leif was the right name for him.  We have joked he was just waiting on his name and once we got it right he decided to come.  Whatever the real truth is, we're glad he's here and we love his name.  Douglas was my Grandfather Hawkins' (D-Doug for those of you who knew him) name, one of my Uncle's middle name, and my brother's middle name.  I highly respect each one of those men and hope that Leif's life can be as useful as their lives have been/ are.

Maternity/ Father's Day Shoot

I have exactly one photo of my pregnant self when I was expecting Jacob. It was taken by my Mom the night before I went into the hospital to have him. I have exactly one photo of my pregnant self when I was expecting Lia. It was taken after I had already gone into the hospital to have her and 10 seconds before I changed into the beautiful gowns you get to parade around in for the next ?? days. This time, I wanted more. Sunday found us out on one of the trails we walk/ bike ride on frequently with my friend Crystal and her camera. A huge Thank-you to her! I've taken many photos on this bridge of Jacob and Lia at different stages of their life so it is a special place to me. An appropriate place to start shooting our next little bundle of boy. I'm 38 weeks now - Jacob and Lia both came at 39 weeks so here's HOPING Baby Boy follows in his sibling's footsteps and graces us with his presence in about a week'ish!

Daddy and 2 of his babies on Father's Day...see, they're not always looking just so for the camera!  This is the real Jacob and Lia!  Not one single "nice" shot.  Oh well, it's real life.  And we really wouldn't want it any other way.

Happy Father's Day David!  We love you to the moon and back.

photo credit:  Crystal Cronk

ummm...hi?

I'm gettin' my toes wet in the blog world again.  Time has slipped away faster that I realized.  We are all still here, happy, and healthy.  And I'm still pregnant.  I do plan to get caught up on posts that should have been written over the past 4 months, however, that's just too overwhelming right now.  I'll put up the most recent photos of Jacob and Lia and feel good that I actually did that much.  Then I'll start "making my rounds" to all of your blogs and leaving little love notes.  ;)

It's A...

My Dad and Lia went with David and I to my ultrasound appointment yesterday. I had the US tech write down the gender of the baby on a card and sent Papa and Lia shopping while I finished with my appointments. The four of us met for lunch then Papa presented us with a gift. Lia was quite excited to get new blue and green clothes for her sister. Ummm...I think we have some explaining to do!

David wanted to be with Jacob when he found out he's getting a brother.  This morning before school we gave each child a blue balloon and told them that was for their new brother.  Jacob was quite thrilled - even though he's been saying all along he wants a sister.  His smile and excitement were priceless.  Lia is still insisting that it's a girl baby in Mommy's tummy and she's going to have a sister.  Oh boy!

Cute little side story - yesterday as the US tech was checking on Baby Boy she switched modes on her machine from 2D mode to 3D mode.  Lia had been used to seeing the black and white images of the baby in 2D and did not like the orangeish/brownish images she saw in 3D.  She told the tech "I want the white baby back!".  We all had a good chuckle.

Brother or Sister? *UPDATE

Today's the day...what will Jacob and Lia be getting?  Baby Brother or Baby Sister?

We're home from my appointment and everything looks great!!  A HEALTHY baby!  "Firecracker" did cooperate and we do know the gender now, but we're not making a public announcement until tomorrow.  David and I want to be together when we tell Jacob and that can't happen until tomorrow.  Lia knows, but doesn't really understand the significance of today so we're not worried about her spilling the beans.  I was so nervous before the appt as I have yet to start feeling Firecracker move but I found out today that the placenta is between him/her and me so he/she has to kick through that for me to feel it.  He/She was VERY active today.  AAAAND he/she is already giving an Aggie Gig'em sign!!  Smart little Firecracker! 

Remembering

It's February 16th again.  I guess that's pretty obvious.  What's not so obvious is its significance to me.  This year isn't as hard as last year - and I'm guessing next year won't be as hard as this year.  Each year will get easier, but I'll never forget.

"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen, nor touched, but are felt in the heart."

Helen Keller

Happy Valentine's Day...and a New Love

Please, don't faint! Yes, I'm actually putting up a post on my blog. What a concept! Does anyone even look at this anymore? So, today is Valentine's Day...happy Valentine's Day and yadda yadda yadda.

Jacob had his Valentine's party at school this morning and I brought him home with me after it was over.

Then our little family went out for a special lunch. 

And, as an extra special treat, we got to see my brother since he was in town for the afternoon!

We LOVE our "Scooter"!

On to our "New Love". We're expecting another baby the 4th of July. What.a.surprise to us! I'm half way through this pregnancy now. For the first 18 weeks I was sick as a dog. Nausea all.day.long. Urking multiple times a day almost every.single.day. Extreme exhaustion. No fun. But some kind of switch got flipped and I'm like a new person now! I'm so, so thankful for that! I have not started feeling our little Firecracker moving yet. Since I'm over 20 weeks now I should be so I'm a bit concerned about that. No little "butterflies", no little flutters, no nothing. Nada. But I have borrowed a doppler from a friend of mine and can listen to Firecracker's heart beat any time I want. It's beating strong so I find comfort in that. But still. I’m hoping the explanation for this is that Firecracker is frank breech.  Jacob was and I never once felt him move during my entire pregnancy.  Call me crazy, but it’s true.  My next appointment is next Wed. and if Firecracker cooperates we will find out if Jacob and Lia will be getting a brother or a sister! Both kids say they want a sister and are convinced it’s a girl. Somehow I think the wishing and the convincing go hand in hand. ;)  David and I just want him/her to be healthy!



I have so many other things I could share but right now those things feel either A.) to frivolous or B.) to personal.  So I’ll end this now and publish this post before another month (or two) goes by without a peep from me!  Thanks to those of you who still check in on me from time to time!

Heart Wrinkle

Recently I had an enlightening conversation about heart break and "heart wrinkle" with Jacob.  Heart wrinkle is not a term that's ever been used in our house so I was quite intrigued when he used it.  Our conversation got started in a rather random way.  But the end of the conversation made me fall a little more in love with my son.  "Mom, the other day someone said something mean to Brooke at recess and it broke her heart.  And it gave me a heart wrinkle."  I pray he always keeps his tender little heart.  Though sometimes tenderness sure does hurt.

Happy Thanksgiving 2011

Alaska

Nooo...David and I did not get to go to Alaska.  But my brother and sis-in-law did.  We got to keep their kids a few days while they were gone!  We spend quite a bit of time outside - something about having 5 kids 5 and under will make you decide to do that!  I did have help too - a couple of the ladies who live close to us came over and gave me a hand during the day.  Maybe I should specify - they cam over and held Tay!  Bud I didn't mind - that meant I got to actually play with the other kids and not have to worry about Tay putting something in her mouth when I wasn't looking!

Tay did, of course, get lots of attention from Lia.  She even got a few toe kisses.  Lia is in looove with "My Tay".  Sweet girls - they're going to be great friends when they get older.  I just know it.

The 4 Big Amigos having a great time out in the back yard.

Princess Tay and her Court Jesters.

Just to make you go "awww".

The oldest and the youngest.  The first and the last.  The sweet to the other three's spicy.  And all five make our world's go 'round.

And now for a little something you didn't know  you didn't know...David and I were going to take a cruise to Alaska for my 30th birthday.  We had an 8 day old baby boy instead.  The cruise would have been less expensive - but the baby has brought us more joy than any trip would.

Celebrations

The month of September is FULL of birthdays for our family.  Labor Day weekend we had a birthday bash at my parent's place to celebrate.  Well, we had several small bashes actually.  Friday night we celebrated Trace and Trevin's birthday.  They were turning 4.  Just in case you couldn't count the candles or see Lia holding up 4 fingers. ;)

What a cute little group of kids!  Oh my!

Sunday we celebrated Lia's 3rd birthday.

Lia in all her glory.  Cute little monkey cake - pretty appropriate for her!

You can see in the top R photo Adam got to join us by then.

Lia LOVED her gifts from Aunt Lesha and Scooter (Uncle Brad).  Aunt Lesha always gives the BEST gifts!  Adam and Jacob enjoyed a dip in the pool.

Pinata time!  This was part of Trace & Trevin's celebration - but we waited until Sunday night to do it so Adam could participate too.  The kids thought this was the best thing ever!  We did over fill the pinata so Scooter and Papa had to do a little improvising when they hung it.  The kids sure didn't complain about all that candy!

Monday was cousin Dennis' birthday so we had to celebrate his birthday with a cake too!  In our family we believe in cakes on THE day.  Even if you've already had a cake earlier, you get one on the actual day.  It's almost a part of our religion.  Except not really - but it IS pretty important.

Just look at this sweet little family would ya.

My Babies

Sooo...in my last post 2 (!) months ago I said I'd be posting some "official" 3 year photos of Lia. I just didn't make any promises as to when that would be. ;) And at the time I really had no intention of it taking this long to get done. However, I've felt a bit "computered out" lately and just didn't have the heart for updating. And for those of you whose blogs I used to comment on regularly. So sorry I haven't been around. I promise to get back in the swing of things. ;) I get kind of bogged down sometimes looking at everyone else's posts. Many of you write much better than I do. You have such interesting things to say and a beautiful way of saying them. And I feel like I say "here are pictures of my kids", "here are more pictures of my kids", "and in case you were wondering, here are more pictures of my kids". But then I snap back to reality - I started this blog as a way for our family and friends in FL to keep up with us and watch the kids grow. So, I guess I'm being true to what I really want out of this. In the mean time I've been fortunate enough to "meet" new people, make new friends, and learn a lot from you. And I LOVE to look back through old posts and see how my kids have grown and remember when they were much more babies than they are now. This is my little on-line journal of our family, it's ups and down, it's twists and turns. And I'm glad that there are still a few of you who are kind enough to comment, pat me on the back, and encourage me. Thank you! ;)

Without further ado....here are more pictures of my kids. ;)

Lia's official 3 year portrait.
I will be hanging a large canvas of this somewhere in my house - probably in our bedroom.

There's something that just speaks to my soul when I look at this. I see pure beauty.  It takes my breath away that I get to call this little lady my daughter.

But just so you know...not ALL of the photos did she cooperate so well!  She's at an age where she prefers to NOT have her picture taken thankyouverymuch.  Unless, of course, she can ham it up.  And I don't mind.  I get some pretty cute shots that way.  But sometimes I want to pull my hair out because could we PLEASE cooperate for 10 seconds.  The answer is usually no.

You didn't think I'd do a shoot with just Lia did you?  No.  I had to get my sweet little Mr. Jacob in there too.  He's old enough now he usually cooperates for a little while.  He's my Mr. GQ.  I could be just a wee bit biased since I'm his Mom and all...but I do think he's one of the most handsome little boys I've ever seen.

And now for the two of them together - this is what I get mostly.  They make me laugh. 

But then somewhere in my pile of photos I can find some gems.  And it makes all the hoopla worth while.  I will be having these three portraits printed large and hung in my home also.

And this just makes me melt.

Ohhh...

I am sore displeased.  Dissapointed.  Distressed.  Depressed.  Disheartened.  Dismayed.  Downcast.  Dispirited.  Why?

As a reward to the fist person who checks this blog and can tell me why I'm feeling all those lovely feelings, you get a $5 gift card card.

Happy Birthday Lia!

There are no words to describe what this little girl means to me.  

I had no idea 3 years ago today how much joy that tiny little bundle would bring into our lives.

Nor did I realize how much of myself I would see in her.

She'll never know how much I love her.

And thou shalt in thy daughter see,
This picture, once, resembled thee.
~Ambrose Philips

(These are not her "official" photos, those have yet to be taken - these are some I captured the other day on a whim.  They capture her personality perfectly.)